the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
