im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Are my feet made of real feet?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
