I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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