Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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