this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
