He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
