I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
