dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
