To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
