so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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