I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
