i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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