I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
