lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
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All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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