I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
