So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
