I CAN MOONWALK!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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