You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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