New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
