I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
handjob tips. give me some.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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