you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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