does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
