we have pet lesbian snakes
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
