Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
no, he came in my armpit
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
