I just saw a hot homeless man
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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