Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
