We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
