I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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