update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
