I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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