She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
There r osticjed everywhere
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
