I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.