You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight