If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots