I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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