Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The struggles of a small town man whore
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
