I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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