I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
