As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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