and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
