I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
