some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize