My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
