Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
