I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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