I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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