Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
