I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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