apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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