If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
