The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
