HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
