PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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