We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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