That's when you crack a 10am beer
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
