You really coming over, don't trick.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
