somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
