She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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