i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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