I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
